the sweetness of sleeplessness

right now:

  • feeling emo and lonely
  • photographs of people who used to populate my life flashing in my mind
  • the moods of Lolita and The Count of Monte Cristo reverberating strongly in my head
  • the desire to write poetry or song
  • being disappointed
  • remaining stiff, being afraid to move on the bed lest I disturb my friend
  • the anxiety of tiptoe-ing in a huge, empty, and somewhat creepy house past midnight. if nothing moves, why do i hear creaks?
  • missing, wanting, hoping, giving up
  • excitement for church tomorrow, 50th anniversary service
  • moonlight streaming through broad windows, disrupting rest